Is love blind, obsessive, and compulsive? Effects of using OCD to describe preferences (and attraction) to tidiness, cleanliness and organisation.
Love is Blind is a popular reality dating show on Netflix where single men and woman have dates with each other without being able to see the other person, in ‘pods’. They must decide, without knowing what the other person looks like, whether they would like to meet face-to-face. If so, an accepted marriage proposal is required before they can join each other in the ‘couples retreat resort’.
Several instances of contestants talking about obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) can be heard throughout the show:
Season 5 episode 3, “Blindsided” (September 22 2023):
AALIYAH: “Tell me weird things about you”
UCHE: “[…] Weird things about me, umm, maybe the OCD thing because I have to have things in certain places sometimes, like sometimes if things are not aligned well, like sometimes I like to go around and set things in their right place so it’s aesthetically pleasing”
Season 6 episode 2, “The Hunger Games of Love” (February 14 2024):
JEREMY: All I was saying is I don’t like wearing regular crew neck shirts because it like scratches up against my neck and I don’t like that, like, it’s almost borderline OCD in some ways.
LAURA: When I was younger, I had OCD. Like, way younger. I guess it wasn’t officially diagnosed, I don’t really know what the deal was, but if I’m in someone’s messy-ass house
JEREMY: Yeah
LAURA: like, the last thing I’ll wanna do Is like cuddle up with you, or like have sex with you, or do, like absolutely not. It has been a huge point of contention in past relationships, I’m not here to be someone’s mother, and I’ve like had like arguments with, like, guys I’ve dated or like exes in the past and they’re like, “No guy is ever gonna like, keep the sink clean”, I don’t believe that!
JEREMY: Oh that’s like my number one rule, dishes have to be out of the sink before I go to the bed
LAURA: Yes!!!
JEREMY: Like, absolutely not, that’s disgusting.
LAURA: I’m getting all hot and bothered over here with this conversation
JEREMY: Okay. I have two robot vaccums that are running 24/7
LAURA: Shut up that is so hot
JEREMY: Yeah so my house is immaculate
LAURA: This might be the first time I’ve been turned on in a pod
[Both laugh]
Season 6 episode 7, “Silence Speaks Volumes” (February 21 2024):
BRITTANY: Something I appreciate about this man. He’s OCD, just like me! It’s actually really fantastic. All his stuff is very neat. Gold, gold star.
Limited context is provided by the show so it cannot be inferred whether or not these contestants experience (currently or previously) symptoms of clinically significant OCD. Either way, these examples potentially reinforce one-dimensional, misleading stereotypes. As acknowledged by the YouTube channel Psychologist in Seattle1, OCD is an “overwhelming, and uncontrollable, and completely debilitating”1 [00:05:06] mental health disorder, “it is not just being neat”1 [00:04:05]. Despite potentially being part of someone with OCD’s experiences, these examples may therefore risk reinforcing that OCD is simply characterised by preferences towards tidiness, organisation, and cleaning, and in this context is even a desirable, attractive trait. Evidence has suggested that the use of OCD in this way can be demeaning1,2 and an injustice3 to people diagnosed with the disorder, further perpetuating it’s definition in the wrong direction4.
